


The Golden Calf

by lostinwander (flusteredkeith)



Series: Peas in a Pod [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Canon Universe, F/M, Fluff and Humor, SaveKaltenecker2k17, Slightly Crack-ish, mutual crushing, pidgance, pidge and lance get up to some shenanigans as usual, plance, vaguely post s3 with shiro still missing :(
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-14
Updated: 2017-09-14
Packaged: 2018-12-29 22:54:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12095217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flusteredkeith/pseuds/lostinwander
Summary: Lance peeks an eye down at her, still feeling suspicious. “So what are you saying?”Pidge grabs two fistfuls of his jacket and shakes him, her face serious.“That I wouldneverleave Kaltenecker out in the cold like that.”





	The Golden Calf

**Author's Note:**

> Started out a little crackish and now I'm unsure. The fact that the last bit was such a struggle to write should let you know it doesn't stay crackish, lmao.
> 
> Also, to me, Kaltenecker is just a giant cow toy so I’m taking it as such, haha. They love their cow baby though, (sob).
> 
> (I also do not know the gender of Kaltenecker so forigve me if I've made any mistakes or inconsistencies, lolol.)

 “I’m afraid it’s the only way.”

There are a several words in the English — or Altean — language that Lance hates. Chores, ugly, Keith (same difference), drab, moist, _“games”_ — just to name a few — but at this very moment, _only_ is one that he hates the most.

“Nope!” he exclaims, throwing his hands up in the air. “Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope! How can you say that? I can’t believe you would say that. I never thought such ugly words could come out of such a beautiful mouth like yours, Princess.”

Allura rolls her eyes with a groan and, and — _hold the phone!_ — exchanges a look with Keith? With _Keith!_ His second least favorite word right now. This cannot stand.

“Lance, please,” Allura says. “Vaccaria has specifically asked for a conciliatory gift. It is our Altean duty to uphold the traditions and honor of peacemaking wherever we go. The universe needs Voltron, and we need allies.”

“So give them some food goo!” Lance protests. “Or the locks of Keith’s mullet — (“ _Excuse_ me?”) — or even a spire of the castle for all I care!”

“Uh, practically speaking,” Hunk chimes in with his ever annoying _voice of reason_ tone. “As the spires are used for wave-detection and communication purposes, that really wouldn’t work, Lance.”

“I don’t care!” Lance shouts. “I’ve heard enough! This is like the third time you all have tried to auction Kaltenecker off like he's just some common cattle. We can’t just, _give_ _Kaltenecker away_ to those heathens! What about the time he saved us from the mall cops? We couldn’t have gotten away without him and now you’re telling me you’d all just drop him like that?”

“Well, given the culture and customs of Vaccaria,” Allura points out with a shaky smile. “There is no denying that a gift like Kaltenecker would please them the most. They clearly worship cows.”

“Do we even know what they’d do with our ‘gift’?” Lance asks. “What if they plan to sacrifice him like the Arusians almost did with their own kind?!”

“Lance, please calm down,” Allura says. “I think it will be fine.”

“Oh, you ‘think,’” he says bitingly. “How do you know they won’t lead Kaltenecker directly to the grill the moment we leave?”

Allura takes a deep breath, her eyebrows furrowing. She looks as though she’s bracing herself for her next words and Lance can’t shake the nagging suspicion that he knows what’s coming next.

“I know this may be hard for you to accept, but your cow, it’s from a store. It isn’t exactly r—”

“Nope!” Lance interjects, pointing a finger in the air and swiping it across his face in a clear, hard, _No._ “No, you do _not_ get to say that. Kaltenecker doesn’t deserve this! Kaltenecker is a real, live being with feelings that Pidge and I adopted and if he’d heard what you said, he’d be heartbroken!”

Turning to Pidge, he gestures wildly at the rest of the group, a family he thought he’d come to know but clearly doesn’t anymore. “Surely you’re with me on this?”

“Well,” Pidge says in a measured voice, adjusting her glasses with a pointed tilt of her head towards Lance. “You know I love Kaltenecker as much as you do but, you’ve gotta admit: Allura has a point.”

Lance’s mouth drops open. Betrayal. Pure and utter betrayal. He can hardly believe his ears.

“Let me get this straight,” Lance says, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Just so there are no more questions between us: Are you telling me you would willingly agree to give Kaltenecker — _our Kaltenecker_ — the beloved Kaltenecker _we_ worked so hard to adopt together — you would just… give him away like this?”

Lance ends his sentence on a cracked note. Although Pidge’s sympathies are not as easily swayed as Hunk’s, he screws up his face as he looks at her, mustering up the most hurt and puppy-dog look he can possibly conjure up.

Pidge stays silent for a long time. Then, adjusting her glasses again, says, “It’s the _only_ way.”

Lance gasps as though Pidge has just declared his death sentence. Agreeing with the rest of the team _and_ using Lance’s least favorite word? Absolutely unacceptable.

“You’re dead to me,” he tells her. “How dare you attest to love Kaltenecker _as much as I do_. I have never been more shocked and betrayed — I — I’m — I can’t even talk right now! Disgusted. I’m disgusted at the whole lot of you!”

Lance storms off the bridge towards the exit, making sure to stomp as loudly as he can every step of the way.

“He’ll get used to the idea eventually,” he hears Keith mutter to Allura.

“I will not!” he shouts one last time before the doors slide open and shut behind him.

— * —

Lance can’t sleep that night. He tosses and turns in bed, mind still haunted by the horrors that had taken place earlier. He just couldn’t believe it. How could the team, including Pidge, just sell Kaltenecker out like that? It’s like they didn’t even care.

The outrage from before burns just as hot as it did when the topic was first broached. His chest can barely contain the fire licking at his insides, growing larger by the minute, and threatening to consume him.

He sits up, wide awake. There’s no way he can fall asleep like this. _Never go to bed angry_ , his mother had once told him. He’s starting to understand why: because it’s literally impossible.

Well, if he can’t sleep, he may as well act. _Something_ needs to be done to save Kaltenecker’s life.

Throwing his blankets off, Lance hops out of bed and pulls on his pants. It occurs to him when he grabs his jacket that he doesn’t have a solid plan, or even the makings of one, but as he heads towards the door, he trusts that one will come to him on the go.

Lance presses the punch pad with one hand while slipping the other through the armhole of his jacket. The moment the door slides open, he jumps back and lets out a yelp of surprise.

“What in the quiz—”

_“Shhh! You’ll wake the others!”_

There, in the darkness of night, stands Pidge in all her five foot glory, her finger over her lip as she hisses for him to be quiet.

“Pidge?” he asks as she steps into the room without an invitation. The door slides shut behind her and the lights blink on in his room. “Holy shit, don’t scare me like that!”

“Oh, good,” she comments, taking in his fully dressed self, her tone casual and nonchalant as though Lance didn’t just have a near heart attack. “So you’ve caught on and are ready to go.”

“Uh, I’ve — what? Come again?” Lance asks, raising an eyebrow. “What are you talking about?”

“Didn’t you—?” she frowns, confused. “I thought you — so you didn’t catch my message?”

“You sent me a message?” He thinks back to earlier that day. The only thing Pidge might’ve done out of the ordinary was pass him his favorite Altean dish during dinner before he even asked. He thought it would’ve been too good to be true that she’d remembered, but then again, _maybe…_

“Ohhhh,” he says with a wiggle of his eyebrows. “You mean—” he winks — “the _message_.”

Pidge gives him a blank stare. “What are you talking about?”

“You know,” Lance throws an arm up, deflating somewhat from her lack of reaction. “At — at dinner?”

“What?” Pidge screws her face up in concentration. “What did I do at dinner that — nevermind. The point is, I didn’t send any messages during dinner.”

“Then what’s all this about?” he asks.

“You know, when we were on the bridge discussing Kaltenecker’s fate…?”

Lance huffs and looks away from her, crossing his arms. In all the commotion of her surprise tonight, he almost forgot he was supposed to stay mad at her. “Uh, yeah, when you _betrayed_ me?”

“Lance, I didn’t,” she says in earnest.

“Uh huh, sure, sure,” he intones, refusing to look her in the eye. “It’s not like you threw Kaltenecker under the bus and sided with Allura or anything.”

“Listen, I had to,” she replies. “It was the only way I could throw their suspicions off, especially while I sent you that message.”

“Uh huh, sure, s—wait, what?”

“The message,” she repeats, blinking. “I mean… did you not see that I—? I totally winked at you behind the glare of my glasses.”

Lance peeks an eye down at her, still feeling suspicious. “So what are you saying?”

Pidge grabs two fistfuls of his jacket and shakes him, her face serious.

“That I would _never_ leave Kaltenecker out in the cold like that.”

Lance’s eyes widen as he registers her profession. His heart pounds loud and fast inside his chest as she continues to hold his gaze, a fierce determination burning in those intense, amber orbs.

He gulps.

“Okay,” he croaks, wanting but not wanting to look away. “S-so… what do you propose?”

She releases her grip on his clothes and leans back, all business-like. Lance lets out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding.

“Well, this is disappointing,” she sniffs, and Lance bristles at the haughty tone of her voice. “I thought you were awake because you got the message about the meeting time.”

“What message?!” he exclaims for what feels like the hundredth time tonight. “And no, I did not catch that wink!” he adds as Pidge opens her mouth to protest. “And you should know that I am _very_ good at noticing when girls wink at me.”

Pidge scowls, looking offended. “I blinked at you in morse code.”

“You — what?” Lance groans, smacking a hand to his forehead. “What the hell, Pidge? How the fuck was I supposed to know?”

“Ugh, you animals,” Pidge scoffs. “Matt would’ve gotten it. It’s what we used to do behind our parents’ backs whenever we hatched a new plan they wouldn’t approve of.”

Lance softens a little as Pidge’s eyes droop at the thought of her family. He knows what it’s like to be the youngest, knows how it feels when an older sibling includes him in their schemes, knows what it means to miss family out here in space.

Reaching out a hand, he ruffles her hair. Pidge looks up at him, her bottom lip upturned in a cute pout. Lance feels something spark inside his chest. She probably doesn't even know how cute she looks.

“Hey, for what it’s worth, I’m flattered,” he says with a smile. “To think the great genius Katie Pidge Holt would blink at me in morse code? I’d take that over being winked at by any other girl.”

Pidge’s lips curve into a sheepish smile as she looks away from him.

“Thanks, Lance. That means a lot, especially coming from you.”

“Mhmm, mhmm,” Lance hums with a nod. “And since you’ve got me in a good mood, I won’t ask you to explain the obvious, insulting subtext of that last bit.”

“It means you—”

“Ah-ba-ba-ba — no,” Lance puts a finger to her lips. “I didn't ask.”

“Fine,” she says, shoving Lance’s hand away from her face. “So anyways. It's obvious what we need to do, right?”

“With Allura suggesting to sacrifice Kaltenecker for the third time? Uh, yeah.”

“We smuggle Kaltenecker away,” they finish at the same time.

Lance leans back with an impressed smile. “Alright, so if you bothered to blink at me in morse code, that must mean you’ve got a plan.”

"I’ve got a plan,” she confirms with a smirk.

“Oh, good! I was right,” Lance preens, mentally patting himself on the back. “Plans just come to me as long as I keep moving forward.”

Pidge rolls her eyes as she pulls out her laptop, presumably full of The Plans, and sinks onto Lance’s bed. With a grin, Lance huddles up next to her, feeling giddy.

As long as Lance has her on his side, he can rest assured in the knowledge that they can accomplish anything.

— * —

“So I’ve already managed to turn off all the security cameras on this side of the castle,” Pidge says in a low voice as they crouch behind the corner leading up to the training deck. “And as far as I know, none of the lions have left their nests.”

“Oh, oh!” Lance whispers excitedly. “If we’re coming up with code phrases, can Kaltenecker’s codename be Wilbur? Like _Charlotte’s Web_ because, get it? He’s being led unjustly to his slaughter.”

“I know, Lance,” she drones. “That was like, my favorite book as a kid.”

“Really?” he asks, a wide grin on his face. “I knew there was a reason we were friends. So, that’s a yes?”

“I mean, sure,” she shrugs. “Not sure if we’ll ever need it, seeing as how if we stick close to the plan, we should be able to get Kalte—” Lance glares at her; she sighs, “ _Wilbur_ to a pod without being spotted.”

Lance smiles, mollified. “Right, so, we just need to go down this hall and turn left, right?”

“Then down the stairs after that, yes,” Pidge confirms. “And then we—”

She cuts off at once. A faint clanging noise. At first, Lance thinks he’s just imagined it, but then—

“Did you hear that?” she asks in a whisper. Lance perks his ears up. If Pidge has heard it, too, then it likely wasn’t just in his own head.

“Yeah, I think so,” he nods. “I wonder what—”

But as the sound continues, Lance starts to spot a pattern in its rhythm.

“Keith,” he says without another beat. In the training room. Typical. “Think he’ll be too engrossed to notice us?”

“Keith? As in I-Sleep-With-A-Knife Keith?” Pidge counters skeptically.

“Fair point,” Lance sighs. “What should we do?”

“You distract him,” Pidge suggests. “Just walk past and I’ll follow from above. If he doesn’t see you, then great, but if he does, it’s better for us not to be seen together.”

“Right,” Lance winks and finger guns at her. Standing up, he walks forward, keeping his toes light and nimble on the ground. His eyes shift up to see Pidge’s green bayard hooking into place around the vents above, pulling its owner along with it until she’s safely nestled on the ledge. _Awesome._

Lance checks his Altean time-ticker as he walks down the hallway. He doesn’t really know why Pidge bothered to give him one, as he’s never actually learned how to tell time with it. But still, based on Pidge’s last informed comment about the varga of night, Lance figures that Keith must have been training for quite a while now.

As he nears the entrance of the training deck, Lance slows down and edges around the far side of the wall. There’s a small slit of a window through the doors but he’s counting on his dark green cargo jacket to camouflage him and allow him to slip by unnoticed.

Once he passes the door, he lets out a deep breath. He looks up as he continues forward. Pidge is already out of sight. Probably found a shortcut through one of the vents.

Just as he is about to make it to the end of the hallway, he hears a whirring hiss, distant footsteps, and then—

“Lance?”

He flinches, eyes shut, and begins to turn toward Keith.

 _Stay cool, stay cool, stay cool, stay_ —

"Hey, have you been running through my mind because you look tired, ha…ha."

Keith raises an eyebrow at the weak, half-hearted finger guns Lance has just shot him with. To be fair, considering the way his black hair and black tee sticks to his skin from the sweat of training, Keith _does_ look tired. But it’s only after a few judgmental blinks from Keith that Lance realizes his random burst of a pick-up line didn’t even make sense.

“Oh, mind your own business, mullet head!” he huffs as he turns away from Keith.

“No, wait,” Keith’s voice stops him. Lance doesn’t turn around, but shifts his head slightly to show he’s listening. “You doing okay, Lance?”

“Yes. No — I mean, yes! I am perfectly fine, thank you very much,” Lance says, crossing his arms.

“You’re not usually up this late,” Keith points out. “Don’t you always say you need your solid eight hours of beauty sleep?”

“Well—” Lance stops. Keith’s got him there. “I sometimes like to… well, you see, you — okay, how do you know so much about my sleeping habits anyways?”

"You don't really keep it a secret."

"That was rhetorical."

Keith’s eyebrows furrow into a mildly concerned expression as he continues staring at Lance.

“What?” Lance asks. It comes out a little more aggressively than he means to but as Keith isn’t by any means the softest or most empathetic person, his attempt at an understanding gaze makes Lance feel uncomfortable.

 _Really_ uncomfortable.

“Is this about Kaltenecker?” Keith asks.

Lance tenses up at once. _Keith knows. He’s onto him._

 _Abort mission now_ , he wants to say to Pidge. If only she could read his mind through the comms. _Abort, abort, abort!_

 _But wait,_ Lance pauses to think as he turns back to face Keith. Keith’s stance is a mixture of relaxed, concerned, open. If he were _really_ onto them, Lance is sure the new black paladin would be posed to pounce — like a panther.

_Just play it cool, man, just play it cool._

“Alright, yeah, you got me,” Lance sniffs, his voice low and dejected, upturning his lips into a small pout. “I can’t sleep because of Kaltenecker.”

Keith seems to accept this; he leans back and crosses his arms with what Lance supposes is meant to be an understanding sigh.

“I figured,” he nods. “You seemed really hung up about that earlier.”

“It’s just not fair!” Lance continues, throwing his hands up into the air. “Kaltenecker is just as important of a member on this ship as anyone else here is!”

Keith opens his mouth, then stops, clearly deciding it was better to swallow the words he was about to say than risk upsetting Lance. Lance is almost impressed. But then he remembers Keith’s been forced to shelve his pride more often in the midst of Shiro’s absence and decides he feels sorry for the guy instead.

“Lance, listen,” Keith says, his voice measured and calm. “The whole building connections with other planets thing — Allura has way more experience with this stuff. You should really listen to her.”

Lance scowls. “You and Allura been talking about this?”

“Well, — a little,” Keith admits, looking apologetic. Lance narrows his eyes suspiciously.

“Oh, yeah? What’d you all say about me?”

“It’s not just this time, or just about you—”

“Oh, so this is an ongoing thing you two do now, or…?”

“That’s beside the point — stop smiling like that!”

But Lance’s smirk only grows wider. A year ago, or however long it’s been out here, Lance might’ve been upset at the idea that Keith and Allura have private conversations on their free time. But now, with the realization that he can use this rare, flustered Keith to his advantage, and — somewhere in the back of his mind — the thought of what Pidge might say if he succeeded in misdirecting Keith’s usual vigilant and attentive self, Lance feels a kind of exhilaration course through his veins instead.

“Keith, I’m impressed,” he says. “Who knew the loner would be able to woo the princess?”

“ _There’s no wooing involved,_ ” Keith replies through gritted teeth. “We just—”

“Wow, so you’re more of a natural, I see, I see,” Lance says as he strokes his chin. “Fascinating.”

“It’s not like that, we just talk about normal stuff. You know, stuff that’s relevant, like space politics—”

“Space politics? Is that code for… something else?”

“No! It is _exactly_ what it sounds like!”

“Have you gotten to first base at least? Or maybe they call it first dock out here…”

“No! It’s just—” Keith cuts off with an irritated groan. “There are no bases, I’m not even playing the game. And no, there are also no — could you have picked any other word than dock, by the way?”

“Aw, you two,” Lance simpers, thoroughly enjoying himself. Ruffling Keith’s feathers is an opportunity he can never pass up, no matter what the circumstances are.

Keith takes a deep breath and holds it, as if praying for patience, then exhales and fixes Lance with a cold stare.

“Seriously, though,” Keith says. “If you’re this upset about Kaltenecker, maybe you should try talking to her about it in the morning before the meeting.”

Lance opens his mouth, about to argue back _(“If you think Allura, Allura the hardass — beautiful hair though, don’t tell her I said that — would just relent, you’re crazy!”)_ before remembering the larger mission at hand. Thinking better of it, he switches track at once.

“Yeah,” he says with a long sigh. “Yeah, I suppose I will try that, thanks.”

Keith smiles. “I’m proud of you, Lance. It’s the right and mature thing to do.”

Trying hard not to think about how mature his and Pidge’s next plans are, Lance smiles back at Keith.

“Yeah, you’re absolutely right,” he says. “Allura’s vision is important.”

“Yeah.”

They stay standing in the middle of the dark hallway for a few more seconds before Lance scratches the back of his neck and lets out a huge yawn.

“Welp, good talk, bro,” he breathes out, stretching his lanky arms up to the ceiling. “Sorry you interrupted your training session for me. You can, uh, go back to that now.”

Keith looks back at the closed doors of the training room, then back at Lance.

“It’s fine, I think I’ll call it a night,” Keith replies with a shrug. “Want to walk back to the sleeping quarters with me?”

“No! — I mean, not _no_ per se, but—” Lance pauses, thinking fast. “I just mean, er, that I’m not done walking around and I think some more walking around will help clear my mind. Give me space to think about my conversation with Allura tomorrow, you know?”

“Makes sense,” Keith nods. “Do you want company?”

“Nah, I’m fine on my own, thanks,” Lance says with a wave of his hand. “You should go back to sleep.”

“Are you sure?” Keith asks. “I can help you brainstorm.”

“Oh yeah, uh huh,” Lance smirks, because he has no other ideas on how to shake Keith off but this. “I’m sure your cozy little _‘space politics’_ sessions give you a looooot of insight into how her mind works.”

He laughs internally as a vein visibly throbs in Keith’s temple. Lance can tell the poor guy is trying hard not to lose his cool. Eventually, Keith crosses his arms and turns away.

“Good night, Lance,” he says loudly, the ears poking out from beneath his messy, black hair glowing a bright red. Leaning back with a satisfied grin, Lance watches as the new black paladin stalks away.

“Good one, sharpshooter,” comes Pidge’s impressed voice in his ears. “Glad that didn’t take too long.”

“Just call me Michael Jackson because I’m a smooth criminal,” Lance preens, his voice smug.

“Alright, stop posing like that and meet me down at the basement.”

Lance looks up towards the ledges above where Pidge might be perched only to hear the noise of what sounds like a small girl climbing down a vent.

“Roger that.”

Making sure Keith is well out of earshot, Lance picks up his pace down the hallway and heads towards their meeting place.

When he arrives at the basement, he finds Pidge waiting in front of the doors to where Kaltenecker is kept. Her eyes trained on her computer screen, she doesn’t look up as he approaches.

“So what’s next, Pidgey pie?” he asks, leaning an elbow against the door and looking over her head at the screen.

“Call me that again and I’ll sock you,” she says without batting an eye. Lance doesn’t either. Somehow, it only makes him want to call her that even more.

Lance waits as Pidge finishes up what she’s been typing. Finally, she stops and turns to face him.

“I’ve just made contact with Ryner and she says someone can come meet us out here to take Kaltenecker,” she explains. “They’ll take him back to some stable in Olkarion where Kaltenecker can live out the rest of his days in peace, so the rest of tonight should be a piece of cake.”

She flashes him her trademark buck-toothed grin, Lance’s favorite one that he’s come to associate with her plans of sheer genius working its way out, and he can’t help but smile back.

It’s too easy. Nobody in the castle suspects them, they’re already at Kaltenecker’s door, what could go wrong?

Pidge punches in a few calculations on her laptop until the door slides open. The sweet sound of a moo comes from within, sparking something jittery inside Lance’s chest until his entire body feels charged with electricity.

They are really doing this. They’ve gone behind their teammates’ backs and are going to set Kaltenecker free.

And the best part of it is that Pidge is the one by his side.

“Hey, buddy!” Lance rushes forward and throws his arms around the cow’s neck, nuzzling his cheeks against her back. Pidge follows behind and gives Kaltenecker an affectionate pat over the head. “Don’t worry, we’re not gonna let that mean-spirited Allura give you away to some heathens. You’re coming with us.”

“You’re going somewhere far away from her, somewhere much, much safer,” Pidge croons. With a glance at Lance, she nods.

“Let’s get her down to the hangar,” she says. “Grab her rope.”

Once they’ve wrapped a collar safely around Kaltenecker’s neck, Lance follows Pidge towards the exit. As they move along, Pidge takes out each passing security camera, ensuring them all a safe passage through the castle.

It happens just as they’re about to turn into the hallway leading down to the hangars. A squeaking sound that causes Lance to look down at once. He reaches out a hand to grip Pidge’s arm.

“Uh, Pidge…?” he trails off, his eyes scanning the area. A sense of dread sinks low at the pit of his stomach as he registers this next movement: a swish of a tiny tail disappearing around the corner and the pitter patter of tiny footsteps scampering back up the castle.

Lance’s eyes lock onto Pidge’s at once and he can tell by her widened gaze that she’s seen and heard the same thing.

“Well. That’s not good,” she mutters.

“They’re spying on us!” Lance hisses as he picks up pace, Pidge on his tail. “But Allura’s bedroom is far away from the hangars, isn’t it? So we should be able to get Kaltenecker out before she wakes up, right?!”

“I don’t know,” Pidge replies, “But the mice are connected to Allura’s _brain!_ That does _not_ bode well for anyone!”

“Ugh, fucking mice,” Lance grumbles. “Alright, let’s just speed it up.”

The moment the doors slide open, they rush into the hangar, sprinting as fast as they can the rest of the way towards the pods. Before they even cover half the distance between the door and the first pod, a voice sounds out loud and clear from above.

“Stop right there,” Allura commands, “and think about what you are doing.”

“Yeah, nope!” Lance cries out as he reaches the closest pod, breathing hard. There’s a stitch in his side but he’s got no time to stop and catch his breath. Pulling on Kaltenecker’s rope, he brings the cow towards the back of the pod, preparing to pack her onboard.

“No, not that one!” Pidge yells at him, her voice raspy as she bypasses Lance and the first pod. “I haven’t perfected the booster on that one yet!”

“You were planning on using the booster?” Lance shouts back. Heart racing, he changes tracks at once and follows Pidge. “I thought that thing blew up last time when Allura and Keith tried it!”

“Yeah, which is why I had to perfect them,” she says. “I just haven’t had time to get around to all of them yet!”

“Which one have you perfected then?” Lance demands hysterically, the stitch in his abs screaming in pain.

“That one!” she points to the pod sitting at the end.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

“Lance!” It’s Keith’s voice this time booming over the speakers. “What the hell? I thought we discussed this.”

“Ugh, Keith, too?” Lance groans. Then, with a smirk, adds, “Guess _someone_ didn’t find their way back to their own bedroom.”

“Don’t worry, we’ve got a huge head start on them!” Pidge says as they continue running. The words are barely out of her mouth when the entrance to the hangars slides open and Keith and Allura rush in.

“Just kidding!” she corrects as they both push harder and faster on, Lance stringing Kaltenecker close behind them.

Pidge finally stops at the last pod and punches the button to pop open the windshield.

“Alright, get in,” she commands breathlessly before jumping onboard herself.

The second she pops open the backseat compartment, Lance loses no time in shoving Kaltenecker in. Grabbing the straps, he wraps them around the cow’s neck and flank, securing her in place. Kaltenecker lets out a little moo as Lance straightens up.

“Aw, I know, buddy, I’ll miss you too,” Lance pouts. Kaltenecker’s eyes look droopier than usual and Lance feels his heart squeeze at the sight of it. “But Pidge is right. It’s all for the best.”

He’s about to turn back and get into the pilot seat when she moos again. It’s a low, soft moan that tugs at his heartstrings and holds them, rooting him to the spot.

“Come on, buddy, don’t do this to me,” he whispers, afraid his vocal chords will crack if he tries to speak any louder.

“Lance?” Pidge urges from somewhere in the front but her voice seems to reach him from far away. For a moment, despite the chase, despite the fact that Keith and Allura are now running towards them from the entrance of the hangar, time comes to slowing halt around Lance. Memories flood his vision as he stares back at Kaltenecker — Pidge’s starry-eyed excitement at finding a video game, Pidge dragging him off to collect coins —

_Pidge, a manic glint in her eyes as she dives into the fountain, her smile wide and proud once Lance retrieves the final coin. Kaltenecker, blinking and bored as her ropes are handed over to Lance. Kaltenecker, her back solid beneath Lance’s hands as they hurtle down the escalators towards the exit —_

“Hurry up!”

Pidge’s voice snaps him back to real time. “Allura and Keith are closing in fast!”

With one last look at Kaltenecker, Lance shuts the door and climbs into the pilot seat. His face pales as he glances through the window: Keith is nearly at the foot of their pod.

“Go, go, go!” Pidge yells, slapping the dashboard with increased urgency. Lance starts the pod up at once just as Keith reaches them. Allura, meanwhile, is nowhere to be found.

“She’s probably going to try to shut down hangar doors from afar,” Pidge guesses, probably noticing Lance’s confused look, “but I’ve already taken care of that.”

“Pidge, you little genius,” he says, reaching over to ruffle her hair. She smirks as they don their helmets, lift up into the air, and fly out through the hangar doors.

“Easy peasy,” Lance smiles as they soar out into the open space. “So which way do we go?”

Pidge looks out the window, contemplating.

“Hmm, I think we’re going to go east for — oh, shit, look out!”

She dives for the controls and they swerve sharply to the left as a laser beam of light shoots past them on the right, barely missing.

“What the fuck?!” Lance yelps as he straightens up in his seat. “What was that?”

Static crinkles from the communications line, then: “Lance, turn that pod around and get your ass back in here.”

Pidge and Lance raise their heads, scanning the deep expanse around them. Pidge points silently at a point to left of them. Another pod appears at the corner of Lance’s eyes as he turns to look, drawing nearer and nearer. Something like anger — and betrayal — bubbles at the pit of his stomach.

“You shot at us, Keith?” Lance shouts back at him. “That’s cold, man. Cold.”

“Stop being dramatic, I was only aiming for the right wing,” Keith says.

“Oh, sure,” Lance nods, even though Keith can’t see him. “Just take out our entire wing and watch us crash and burn, no big deal.”

“That wouldn’t have happened, Lance,” Keith drones. “And if you come back now, I promise there won’t be any further damage.”

“That’s a joke right? Keith making a promise?” Lance side eyes Pidge as he says this, checking for her reaction, and feels a surge of excitement at the sight of her suppressing a giggle.

“I’m serious!” Keith yells. “Don’t make me come out there and—”

His voice cuts off as Lance punches the off button.

“So how about that booster, Pidge?”

“Be my guest,” she smirks.

“Good,” Lance says as his finger hovers over the button. “Because let’s face it. There’s no way in hell I could’ve outflown Keith.”

“Wait — stop!” Pidge suddenly yells, her hand shooting out from nowhere to pull Lance’s away from the booster.

“Pidge, what are you — HOLY SHIT!”

Lance swerves and spirals off towards the right at the the sight of Keith’s pod, his stomach churning as their ship spins round and round. Keith had charged straight at them from the front and was circling around, poised to do it again.

“Is he trying to kill us?!” Lance asks as he grips the thruster controls and flies forward.

“It’s Keith, I wouldn’t put it past him!”

Lance pulls and swerves again, narrowly avoiding another hit from one of Keith’s laser beams.

“ _Fuck,_ ” Lance shouts. “Keith’s always been a better flier than I am, I don’t know if we can make it!”

A heavy weight sinks low in his stomach as the old fear comes creeping back to him. He’s done it again. Voiced his insecurities out loud before his mind and heart can even acknowledge them first. As he continues to fly and dodge Keith’s attacks, Lance feels himself slipping.

_But they’ve come so far._

“You got this, Lance,” Pidge says. Her hand squeezes over his, and Lance suddenly realizes that she hasn’t released it this entire time.

“I believe in you.”

It gives him all the courage he needs to keep flying.

“Alright,” he says, his voice confident and firm. Tightening his grip over the controls, he sits upright, focused. “Tell me when to punch that booster. Let’s go down swingin’.”

Pidge doesn’t let go of his hand the entire time. They make chase across the starry night, Keith on their tail, fully in attack mode. As usual, Keith’s piloting skills are legendary. Lance can’t even deny it; he can’t compete with Keith’s prowess in an aircraft. But on the other hand, he has Pidge on his side, and it’s enough to clear all of his doubts.

There’s no way Keith can outsmart them both.

As Keith continues to chase them, Lance pulls a few choice maneuvers, most of which he’s learned from Shiro, while Pidge directs.

“Keith often attacks from the side, but his brashness makes him unaware of his surroundings,” Pidge says as Lance veers once more to the left.

“So what do we do?” Lance asks, his eyes focused ahead, having just barely been grazed by another shot from Keith.

“Hmmm…” Pidge glances around them, assessing the environment. The only thing he can see from their window is an array of giant rocks in the distance and he hopes to God Pidge isn’t going to ask him to—

“Fly closer to that asteroid field up ahead.”

“Are you insane?” Lance yelps. “Asteroid fields are like, Keith’s specialty!”

“Do you trust me?”

“What?”

“I said, do you trust me?”

Lance doesn’t have to think twice to answer that. In response, he shifts the thruster controls and propels them directly at the asteroid field.

Pidge finally lets go of his hand to hover over the entire control panel, her fingers flying across the buttons as she keys in God-knows-what genius plans into the system. Lance has no idea what to do except to keep on flying, his heart pounding faster and faster the closer they get.

Pidge finishes her entry by punching one final button, then holds it there, her other hand moving to the control stick next to it.

“Now wait for him to shoot,” Pidge says, her eyes roving back and forth from the asteroid field and the control panel.

“Welp, he’s charging up,” Lance observes, his voice raising as he fights the panic that threatens to spike in his chest. Their pod flies ever closer to the rocks. “Pidge?”

“Just… wait.”

Lance does as he’s told despite the rising tension boiling in his stomach. If he doesn’t pull out soon, they’re going to crash.

“Pidge?!”

The next tick seems to take several doboshes to play out. A beam of light shoots out from behind them, glowing brighter and brighter as it nears; Pidge yanks the joystick towards herself and lets go of the button; a giant rock zooms towards them, threatening to collide—

Heart pounding in his ears, Lance ducks his head out of instinct and nearly misses it. A shadow passes overhead — the rock doesn’t hit. Instead, it glides past above them, hurtling backwards with a spin until — _WHAM!_ — it smacks Keith’s pod head-on in the face.

Keith tapers away, reeling off to the side from the force of the hit, his right wing damaged.

Lance blinks in amazement, then turns to Pidge. Laughter bubbles up and spills out of their mouths as the waves of adrenaline finally crashes down on them.

“Take that, mullet head!” Lance exclaims as he spirals away from the asteroid field and heads east. “How’d you do that, anyways?”

“I used this pod’s tractor beam to fling an asteroid rock at him,” Pidge says. “As simple as it sounds.”

“You clever little bird,” he replies fondly, smiling down at her. “Now we just have to — oh, shit.”

Another beam of light shoots past them and Lance nearly loses the pod’s balance. Pidge presses her face against the window, looking out.

“It seems Keith hasn’t given up yet,” Pidge notes. “I can’t see where he is though…”

“Ugh, typical,” Lance groans, righting their aircraft back up. The image of Keith picking himself back up in his damaged pod and trying to follow irritates him to no end. Buddy never knows when to give up. “Can you see him? What’s he doing now?”

“No, I can’t seem to… oh… shit.”

“What? What is it?” Lance urges, turning his head to face her side of the window. A sense of foreboding floods his veins at the low, dreaded sound of her next words.

“Oh, fuck no he didn’t.”

But before Lance can even ask what it is, he hears a familiar, loud and regal roar.

The Black Lion has left its hangar.

“Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit—”

Lance flails as he scrambles back up and seizes control of the wheel again. His foot slams the pedals, accelerating their pod as fast as it can go while Pidge shouts, “Go, go, go!”

“I'm trying!” Lance yells. “Do we have an invisibility cloak on this thing?!”

But even as he asks it, his gaze falls upon the booster button. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Pidge nod.

“Welp,” he says, not taking his foot off the gas. “Here goes nothing.”

He punches it.

With a deafening roar, the pod vibrates uncontrollably, engine building up fuel as it shakes beneath Lance’s seat. He lets out a loud yelp as fire blasts out of the exhaust pipes, launching them forward into space at breakneck speed.

“How long does this even last?!” he asks, his teeth clattering.

“Long enough!”

But any reassurance Pidge has given about perfecting the booster goes out the door as Lance clings on for dear life. At this rate, there would be no more skin left on his face by the end of the ride, not when it feels like his flesh is being peeled away from the sheer force of velocity. Without thinking, he reaches out for something — _anything_ — that can anchor him down, and upon finding Pidge’s hand, he squeezes.

His pulse races just as fast when she squeezes back.

They continue to shoot through space like a bullet.

Finally, within the next few seconds, or ticks, or however time’s supposed to be measured at this speed, their pod begins to slow, engine spluttering as the booster fuel begins to run low. Pidge takes this opportunity to activate the cloaking device and a hum resounds all around them as they shift into invisibility. As their surroundings sharpen back into focus, the pod settles into a comfortable pace and continues coasting among the stars.

But even as the booster flame dies out, the one in Lance’s heart doesn’t. Silence falls between them as the chaos of their escape fades away, tapering off into a peaceful calm but for the pounding in his ears. He lets out a deep sigh of relief.

Head feeling hot, Lance pulls off his helmet and turns to Pidge. She looks windswept, out of breath: definitely no different than how he feels himself. His eyes shift down from her face to their interlocked hands and his breath hitches in his throat.

 _That was close,_ he tries to say, but his vocal chords don’t seem to work. Pidge looks up at him, her eyes wide with something he’s afraid to name. The shock from the adrenaline probably hasn’t worn off for her yet, and if he’s being honest with himself, he’s not sure if it has for him either.

Reaching over with his other arm, he hooks a thumb beneath her helmet and lifts it off her head. Her hair bounces as it emerges, and the sight of it sends sparks shooting up through his chest.

He wets his lips to speak but words fail him again. And yet, he’s worried if he doesn’t say something soon, Pidge will pull her hand away.

So Lance does the only other thing that makes sense in his wired up mind. Tightening his grip on her hand, he tugs her in and leans down to meet her lips. Their teeth clink painfully from the sudden, sharp movement but he doesn’t care. It’s only when her mouth opens to his that he realizes how long he’s wanted this: his hand in her hair, her lip between his teeth, her fingers along his jaw.

Pidge squeezes his hand harder, unbuckles her seatbelt so she can shift herself taller on her knees. A small sound escapes the back of his throat as she slips her tongue in his mouth, his fingers fisting in her hair. Whatever booster Pidge has installed in his heart, Lance is pretty damn sure this fuel will never run out.

A loud _moo_ rings out faintly from behind them. Eyes snapping open, he breaks away from her to stare at the source of the noise. In all the commotion, he had forgotten to check if Kaltenecker was okay.

Pidge hits a button that opens up a small window in the wall behind them and they both huddle up to it.

“You okay back there, buddy?” Lance asks.

She moos in response. He and Pidge exchange smiles.

“We should be good to…” she trails off as a large shadow looms over them. “Oh shit. Nope, not yet.”

Lance presses his face to the main windows. He nearly has a heart attack when he sees the Black Lion hovering up above before he remembers that they’re invisible.

“You think Keith will find us?” he asks.

“Nah. Maybe if he were pressed in a life-or-death situation, he’d get more creative,” Pidge reasons. “But this? I doubt he’ll think of scanning the perimeters for any anomalies. And besides, there’s a reason I made sure we’re coasting through this nebula. The interference from the ionized gasses surrounding us should give us good enough cover, especially with the chemicals from…”

And once again, she’s talking too fast for him to follow. Somehow, he finds that he doesn’t mind at the moment. Not when she’s got that tousled hair and swollen lip thing going on — product of his truly.

“I’ll take your word for it,” he tells her once she finishes rambling.

As she keeps her eyes trained on the Black Lion, Lance continues to gaze at her fondly, barely even noticing when Keith finally turns tail and leaves. Once he’s gone, she breathes a sigh of relief and turns to face him.

“Welp, that was—” she stops when she catches him staring. “What are you looking at?”

“Nothing,” he replies with the casual air of a daydreamer, not taking his eyes off of her. “Just thinking about anomalies since you mentioned them.”

“What are you…”

She trails off and her cheeks flush, as result of — he hopes — remembering their kiss.

“Um, in a good or bad way?” she asks, not quite meeting his eye.

In response, he reaches out, takes her hand, and pulls her into his lap. Pidge fumbles into his arms, stammering incoherent protests as she ends up with her nose planted in the crook of his neck.

“Definitely good,” he says in a soft voice, his arms wrapping around her back as he steadies her. “So what do we do now?”

“W-well,” she mumbles, lifting her chin up to his face. “Ryner said she sent someone to meet us around here and they should be arriving any minute now so I guess we’ll just have to…”

Her words taper off at the look on his face. She swallows.

“That’s not what you meant, is it?”

“Nope,” he says, lips curving into a smile.

“Of course, this is assuming we survive Allura’s wrath first,” Pidge reminds him. A shudder runs down his spine as the image of an angry Allura, brows knotted and hair crackling with electricity, crosses his mind.

“Do you have to kill the mood like this, Pidge?” he asks, now trying to shake the darkening fear that looms over his head. “We were totally having a moment.”

“Oops. Sorry,” she says with a sheepish smile. Adjusting her seat in Lance’s lap, she leans in closer with a mischievous grin. “What if I told you you were the only person I would ever smuggle Kaltenecker out with, and face any and all subsequent consequences thereafter? Does that answer your question?”

In the hopes of garnering a more fulfilling response, Lance upturns his bottom lip and arranges his face with as much boredom and disappointment as he can muster.

“Maaaaybe.”

He deserves a better reply, especially considering she just ruined the mood.

Closing the gap between them, Pidge tilts her head just enough to give him a quick peck on the nose.

“Alternatively, I guess we could just make out the whole way back before we meet our inevitable fate,” she amends.

“Hmm,” he hums in mock concentration. Lifting his right knee slightly to give Pidge a little nudge, he continues, “Or we could start now.”

In reply, Pidge locks her lips back onto Lance’s. His hand slides up her back to hold her in place, his thumb rubbing circles at her shoulder blade.

“Does this mean I can call you Pidgey pie?” he murmurs, pulling back just enough to ask this extremely important question.

“Just shut up and kiss me,” she says with a roll of her eyes.

Happily, he obliges.

Allura being mad. Feels like the end of the world. But as Pidge’s fingers thread through his hair, pulling his head back to pry open his mouth, Lance can’t help but agree that there's no other person he'd rather experience the end of the world with than with her.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hello to me on tumblr [@flusteredkeith](https://flusteredkeith.tumblr.com)!
> 
> If you liked this work, check out some of my other recent works!
> 
> [tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11677323): Sheith, multichapter, Edge of Tomorrow AU (aka military sci-fi meets groundhog's day) - written for the Voltron Big Bang.
> 
> [once in a sunset](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11458449): a Plance oneshot where Lance comforts Pidge.
> 
> [shop til your heart drops](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10943253): Kallura fic where Allura takes Keith to the mall in attempts to try and figure out what he wants for his birthday. Shenanigans and feelings ensue.


End file.
